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My name is Laurie Engelhardt co-founder of SOS and I am a survivor. 

May 28, 2012 six months after my mom suddenly passed away I found a tiny lump on my left breast. June 8th I had a lumpectomy, four months of chemo and radiation daily for thirty-three days. After a PET scan I was declared cancer free. 

December 14, 2015, exactly three years after my last treatment in 2012 my doctor gave me the shocking news. I had stage 4 breast cancer in my left breast that metastasize in my right breast, lungs, sternum, with a spot on my liver, spine and hip. I also had fluid in both lungs. Christmas week began the first of twelve weekly chemo treatments with an 80 percent chance of remission.  

My last chemo treatment took place the day after Easter 2016. Two weeks later I received more devastating news. The PET scan revealed the cancer had progressed in the liver and the cancer remained in the left breast and lung. In addition, the fluid in my both lungs built up to the point I couldn’t breathe or walk short distances without severe pain. Through a series of events I was admitted to Holy Cross for three weeks.

After the visitors left and the nurses closed my door for the night, I told Jesus I was ready to be with Him in eternity. I made peace with death but God had other plans.  

You may think this is about surviving cancer and death but it’s not. It’s definitely a bonus but not the windfall.  

Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's. 2 Chronicles 20:15.

What's the great multitude in your life? 

In the context of Jehoshaphat, he was seeking the Lord because the enemy, the sons of Ammon and Moab we're coming to take away the inheritance that the Lord had given them.

In front of the assembly Jehoshaphat cried out to God. Art Thou not God in the heaven? And art Thou not ruler over all the kingdoms of the Nations? Power and might are in Thy hand so that no one can stand against Thee. Did Thou our God drive out the inhabitants of this land before thy People Israel and give it to the descendants of Abraham Thy friend forever?

He reminded God of his power and the promises He kept. Has God promised you something that has yet come to fruition? Are you struggling to hold on? I know I am!

God promised to heal me and confirmed it different ways. But healing doesn't happen by waving a magic wand over your head and poof you're healed. You have to walk it out in faith. You have to believe that every step you take is ordered by the Lord no matter what it looks like or where He takes you.

Now that I'm home after being in the hospital for 3 weeks and rehab for 2 weeks I battle the great multitude. I weigh 90 pounds. I still have cancer in my body and it looks like nothing has changed. The noise, the rumblings in my head at times overshadows what the Lord has shown me.

Some days I feel beaten down by the chatter in my head, the great multitude.

The chatter, lies from the enemy goes something like this. You will never get well. You will never get your life back. You will never get rid of the catheter in your lung. The medicine will be too strong and you will not be able to tolerate it. It would be a lot easier to die then to fight the good fight.  

But wait a minute. Verse15 says, “for the battle is not yours but God's.”

So how do you fight the good fight but let God do it? That sounds like an oxymoron right?

This is my observation. The good fight is what goes on in your mind taking every thought captive and believing the promises God has given. My propensity is to grumble and complain; to look at the negatives, but there’s no joy in that. Taking thoughts captive does not heal, Jesus does.  

When someone keeps a promise love and trust deepen. That’s the windfall.  

My love and trust in my Heavenly Father has renovated my heart. I’ve fallen more in love with God as I’ve watched the promise of restored health unfold before my very eyes. Those that I love and those that love me concur, it’s a miracle.  

-Laurie Engelhardt